


The Road Home

by tatooedlaura



Series: Life, Part 3 [31]
Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 22:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14924048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatooedlaura/pseuds/tatooedlaura
Summary: The longest drive ever with a new baby ...





	The Road Home

“No, Mulder, I’m sitting up here. There’s no reason to sit in the back. Will’s asleep, it’s 10 minutes to home, it’ll be fine.”

Mulder, who knew from watching things and observing people and absorbing information, would have bet hard money on her wanting to ride in the back with their son on his first terrifying ride home, traffic trying its best to kill them all and speeds above 15 MPH guaranteed to damage his bones, brain and future accordingly unless she held his tiny, gripping hand, “really?”

Settling in as carefully as possible, “I’m fine. It’s fine. Can we just go, please? I’d like to not have to sit on this seat any longer than I have to.”

“Okay then. Homeward it is.”

He was feeling pretty good abou things until he actually turned the key and the engine rumbled and roared, then, whatever had been laying in wait reared it ugly head. His stomach jumped, his butt clenched and sweat inexplicably began running down between his shoulder blades; hand still on the key, he pictured crashing vehicles and blood spilling across the highway, never mind they weren’t going anywhere near a freeway, ambulances and flashing lights and calls for oxygen and IVs and gigantic Band-aids and …

Holy shit, he’d better get a damn grip or they’d be sitting in the patient pick-up line until Will was, at minimum, 18 and larger than his father, “Mulder?”

He finally got both hands up on the steering wheel, deep breath in, “yeah, yeah, sorry. Momentary loss of cognitive function, wondering if I really should have been given a driver’s license but I’m good now.”

Looking at him, seeing naked panic flitting around his eyes, she felt her own unease screaming to be let out of the box she’d crammed it in the moment they’d hit the elevator, “would you like me to call Walter? Mom?”

“No. If this kid finds out I didn’t have the courage to drive him home from the hospital, he’ll walk all over my ass for the rest of my life.” Pushing break and moving from ‘park’ to ‘drive’, “here we go.”

The turnaround and the parking lot navigation wasn’t bad, Mulder got his bearings, loosened up a little, began to see the world not as death trap but familiar place once again. The first main road wasn’t bad, Mulder wanting to pat himself on the back for making it through that turn and light like a trooper.

You go, Mulder.

Scully, for her part in the role of ‘let’s get ourselves home’ was losing it quickly. She couldn’t see her son, she couldn’t hear him, she couldn’t see if he was still breathing, still sleeping, still in the seat at all …

Out of sight, out of existence …

Good holy God, did she not have any grip left on reality …

Of course he was back there. She put him back there. Every sliver of logic in the world told her he was still back there and fine and no, he had not managed to work the buckles and straps and pull himself up and out of the seat and find the automatic window button and push it and climb out and …

Fuck …

“Mulder, please pull over.”

“What? What’s wrong?” He did not need this when he’d just remastered the speed limit and discovered that it really wasn’t such a bad law to follow, “you okay?”

Very nearly ready to crack, her voice betrayed what she had hoped was a cool exterior, “I’d like to get in the back, please.”

Not about to argue with her in her current state or any state, really, except possibly Texas, “give me a second to find a parking lot.”

Hands fisted against her thigh, she nodded, holding tight to a final thread of sanity until the Jeep stopped and she was able to awkwardly slide herself down to the ground and pull open the door, discovering that her son was intact, still asleep and more beautiful than ever. As the tears of idiocy and relief flowed down her cheeks, she shut the door, walked around the car and climbed in beside her son.

Once buckled in, she managed to meet Mulder’s eyes in the rearview mirror, not finding judgement but understanding, “sorry. I guess I should have just gotten back here in the first place.”

And of course, he finished off with humor, “or we could have put his car seat behind me instead of behind you.”

“Just take us home, Mulder.”

&&&&&&&&&&&

Maggie and Walter were waiting for them, having cleaned and cooked in preparation for their arrival. They’d waited to share Will’s full name until now and Walter teared up as closely as Walter could tear up when he heard he had a part in the new baby’s name; nose got a little red, eyes a little wet, smile a little wobbly, but then, Marine returned, softened slightly but still with ramrod straight posture, “thank you.”

Scully, sitting on the side of the bed in the apartment, home for five minutes and itching to move around, show Will his new digs, as Mulder called them when he walked the family inside, “you’re welcome. It’s a good name, Walter, from a very good man.”

Mulder interrupted the moment with hovering, now that he had the kid inside, “hey, wanna feed small fry here?”

That was a cue no one missed, included Maggie, who knew Skinner probably didn’t want to see his agent breastfeeding, “come on, Walter, let’s get out of here and leave them in peace.”

Apartment finally cleared, they got down to the business of keeping a small human alive with eating, burping, changing, sleeping, rocking, more eating, spitting up, wiping, cleaning and eventual, watching Will on his back in the basinet beside the bed, Scully with her hand over the side, holding tiny fingers while Mulder pressed in behind her, finally feeling safe enough to enjoy his little world.

Scully felt the change in demeanor and tension, asking quietly over her shoulder, “will you tell me what happened?”

Knowing he had to, he shut his eyes, finding the soft back of her neck to aim his words, “Krycek put a receiver in my ear and spent a month controlling my every move.”

Knowing he had to, she shut her eyes, stroking her son’s arm while she listened first then asked, “do you remember any of it?”

“Every last fucking moment … sorry … shouldn’t be swearing in front of the kid.” One kiss then two just above her scar, “I remember everything and I can’t tell you what I did but I need to tell you what I did but I don’t want to tell you what I did but I have to tell you what I did.”

“Mulder …”

“That was a terrible sentence, I’m sorry. I just … fuck … I just want to … not have to … I don’t want to … shit.” By now, he was carefully but tightly hugging her back against him, “if the boys are any good at what they do, you probably saw most of what happened from surveillance cameras and tracking but,” oh, he really didn’t want to say this part to her, ever, “there was more.”

“It’s okay. I won’t hold any of it against you, I swear.” Finally letting go of her boy’s hand, she rolled over with a minimum of speed and groaning, muscles pulling, parts aching, until she could see him clearly, 3pm sun filtering in, backlighting, throwing him in shadow, “you can tell me anything, Mulder and given I don’t have a red M&M for you at the moment, you’ll just have to trust I’m going to love you regardless of any and all nonsense you are about to tell me.”

Rubbing noses with her, “it’s not nonsense.”

“Sure it is. Krycek is the epitome of nonsense and whatever he made you do, is just as much nonsense so spill it so we can move on.” Hoping her semi-light tone would make him feel a modicum safer in telling her, she kissed his chin, “please, Mulder, you’ll feel better once you tell me and so will I.”

Eyes holding hers, locked and unblinking, “he made me find women, in bars and restaurants, to take back to hotel rooms.” He paused as her pupils contracted slightly but eyes didn’t blink, “he had me kiss them, undress them, no sex but just …” body shuddering, “I didn’t want to, I promise you from the bottom of my fucking … shit … damn it … I didn’t want to do any of it.” Tears rolled out now, down his face, onto the pillow, nose running instantly, mess of Mulder 0.2 inches from her, “I’m sorry.”

Scully’s arms wiggled under his, around his torso, squeezing him as best she could, “I’m going to overuse the word nonsense now but it’s all nonsense, remember, all God-damned nonsense that means nothing at all.” Kissing once then twice, “and yes, I swore in front of our two-day old son, he’ll get over it.”

Soggy chuckle through inhaled stutter, Mulder kissed her back, hard, possessive, pulling away only when he realized she was crying, too, “I’m sorry. Please, believe me.”

“I’m not crying because of what you did, Mulder, I’m crying because I’m angry at the world, because it’s never going to end. We’re going to be looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives and,” burying her head against him, “we will never be able to let our son out of our sight.”

This went south at a rapidly catastrophic pace and needing to salvage anything good to vainly attempt a recovery, “I’m thinking that donut shop idea has more and more merit with every passing minute. What do you think? Quit and bake all the damn day long?” Fussing Will made Mulder pause, sliding back off the bed, “stay.”

“Like I could get anywhere fast right now, Mulder.”

Sooner than later, Will was back asleep between them, parents contorted enough to keep foreheads touching as they watched their son, “I will quit tomorrow, I swear to God, Scully. I will quit and walk away and never regret it for an instant.”

“I’ve never made a donut in my life, Mulder.”

“We’ll use the new-fangled interwebs and learn how.”

“Can we worry about that tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Time lost meaning as they lay there until across the quiet, Mulder asked her, “I need to tell you everything.”

“I’m here.”


End file.
